Life and Stuff

Isn't life amazing? The longer it is the more you learn about it, the more you learn that there is to learn. I've always tried to understand why people do the things they do.

Why on earth would someone have an affair if they are married? The pleasure of it? Life is boring - anything has to be more interesting. What if you became pregnant? Had a baby, and still remained with your husband? What would become of that child?

If you ask people to rate what they think is more important, health, money and not being alone rate high. Here's what I think: it's all about me, what I want, what I'm getting, it's my pleasure in life. I don't want pain. I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be despised.

Relationships can be read like a book. It's quite funny I think. Just watch one of these afternoon programmes on TV. I cheated on my boyfriend/girlfriend will he/she forgive me?

I don't really know. There are far too many variables to understand any relationship.

I'm single, and will probably end up single. I love to flirt, and see where it takes me. But have never found anyone I would like to spend the rest of my life with.

My parents separated when I was about 10. Their lives were going in different directions, they said. What they didn't say was that they hated each other!

It'll be interesting to watch the cuckoo grow.

I've been forced to take this week off work, well not really forced, but I have to take my annual leave before the end of March or I can loose it.  Since my mother died nearly two years ago, I haven't really fancied taking any time off work.  I have learned how to fit everything I want to do around work, and use it as a rather convenient way of neglecting things I haven't wanted to do.

Yesterday I went to visit my grandparents.  The last time I went to see them was about November last year, and it felt really strange in that they haven't changed a bit.  When I saw them in November, they were both sitting on the sofa in front of the fire.  My grandmother not quite with it, she seemed to be stuffed full of pills to keep her calm and placid to deal with the dementia.  My grandfather, who suffered a stroke a few years ago, was still as bright and cheery as he's always been.  Yesterday it felt exactly the same.  My grandmother continuously leafed through the paper, my grandfather at one point asked her what she was reading, and she said the paper!

I've never been really good with social occasions.  I always was happy for my mother to take control of these family gatherings - suited me, but now it feels awkward and strange.  I just think it's strange how families interact with each other.  Since my mother passed away it all changed.  Only my sister seemed to be going through the same thing as me, although she has her family to take of, and who takes care of her, even though she doesn't see it that way.

For nearly ten years I kept a diary. I only wrote something in it when I had few moments to spare. Provides some really interesting reading today. Some of the stuff is good, some embarasing. It's been nearly 10 years now since I have kept a diary. So, here I am attempting to revive an old story.